Friday, June 12, 2009

Get off your soapbox, kid.

So, I'm out for dinner and drinks last night with a friend, and we're sitting out on the patio of the restaurant in the humid Texas air, enjoying our margaritas and nachos. As most of you know, I'm a smoker, and have written a couple of posts about the annoyances of Judgy McJudgerson people. After I finish eating, I light a cigarette (since we're outside in the smoking section) and continue gossiping with my friend, when a lady from the next table comes over and squats next to me. This is the conversation that followed:

Her: "I'm so sorry to bother you, but can I ask you something? It's really embarrassing..."
Me: "Sure, what's up?"
Her: "Well, my daughter's been at day camp all this week, and today they had a discussion about smoking and cancer. She noticed you were smoking and started crying, and she wants to come and talk to you about what she learned today. She's very concerned."
Me: ** crickets chirping **

The lady calls her 6 or 7 year old daughter over, with me sitting there, eyes wide, mouth agape, not believing this is happening...The little girl approaches with tears in her eyes and then I proceed to get lectured about the dangers of smoking. Like I'm not aware.

Child: "Um, so I've been at camp and today we talked about smoking and do you know that smoking will give you black lung?"
Child: "And cancer?"
Child: "And will kill you?"
Child: "And it's gross?"
Me: "I know, baby... thank you for being concerned, that is very sweet. I'd like to quit, but it's kind of hard. You know that ice cream cone you have in your hand? Imagine me taking that away from you and you never getting to have one again. That's what I'd feel if I stopped smoking right now. But I really appreciate your concern."

Maybe it was the margaritas that made me be a bitch to a kid. I really don't care. I get that she was doing a sweet thing, but as a mother, no way in hell would I ever, EVER, allow my child to go lecture another adult on anything they were doing. That is inappropriate and rude. So maybe I should have said something to the mom instead of making this kid picture a life without ice cream, but maybe that will teach the mom to get some manners of her own and not let her child approach strangers and start preaching the benefits of a healthier lifestyle.

The nerve of some people.


calicobebop said...

HOLY SHIT! What kind of pretentious asshole encourages their kid to lecture an adult?

If that had been my kid I'd have told her to mind her own beeswax.


calicobebop said...

Also, I like that you compared the cigg to an icecream cone. Priceless!

Crystal said...


you should have told her that ice cream cone would make her obese and that cigarettes make you skinny and hot.

what. it's the truth.

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

HAHAHAHA! don't feel bad about forcing the little girl to picture a life without ice cream. it's her mother's fault for being a stupid bitch in the first place. gawd, i hate people.

Thalia said...

Unbelievable. That mother is a piece of work. I don't think you were being a bitch at all. I would only hope to have the presence of mind to come up with something that quickly that was so apropos to the situation.