Monday, September 21, 2009

Weekend Wrap Up

Friday morning Sassypants IM'd me around, oh, 7:38 or so asking if we were drinking tonight. That's 7:38 IN THE MORNING. Someone had obviously had a bad week. So, I told her of course we were and after work went and picked up MP, ran home to change, picked up lots of beer, and went to Sassy's house. We ordered pizza, drank some wine and beer, and played Wii... good times. This guy I had met a couple of months ago had texted me Friday morning to see what I had going on for the weekend, and asked if I wanted to hang out that night. I told him he was welcome to come hang out if he could deal with kids running around and lots of drunken conversations. He ended up coming, and as soon as he walked in, Sassy started in with the 3rd degree... why are you divorced? was it your fault? do you still love her? do you have any kids? how many family members do you have? does cancer run in your family? where did you go to college? do you want children someday? why are you drinking Amstel Light? (okay that last one was from me.) Anyway, I stopped Sassypants from embarrassing me further by throwing out an embarrassing question to her that I knew she wouldn't want to answer in front of a stranger, and she got the hint. Although later she ended up talking about it anyway. Eh. The guy said he had a great time so I guess it was alright.

Saturday I got to sleep until almost 9:00! MP crawled in bed with me around 7 but fell right back asleep, so I was super stoked about sleeping in. We got up and got dressed, then met Sassypants and her little one for lunch and then went to the movies to see Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. It was pretty cute. After that we went to Garden Ridge to look for some patio furniture for Sassy's backyard. The kids were running around (on a sugar high from the movie), so we were in and out of the store in about 10 minutes. After that MP and I went home and I did some stuff around the house, got some chicken strips for dinner , and watched movies until we fell asleep that night.

Sunday I woke up around 8 or so and got MP dressed, and we went grocery shopping. I wanted to get there early to beat the crowds, but I guess that's not possible on weekends. I ended up spending about an hour and a half and double the money I wanted to in there, but I got everything I needed (and more). Going to the grocery store is weirdly fun for me. Even funner when you don't have a kiddo asking for everything on the shelves, but oh well. Went home, unloaded the groceries, cleaned up the kitchen, made lunch, did laundry, and took a well-deserved nap. Woke up and started cooking dinner, watched another movie with MP, got MP a bath, read a book with her, put her to bed, cleaned the kitchen, then collapsed into bed to watch some Food Network before I passed out.

All in all a good weekend, although 62 hours with the little one nonstop can be quite tiring! Hopefully this week goes smoothly... work is getting to be quite stressful, I may need a good wine and bubble bath night soon. :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Adventures at lunchtime

Sassypants and I work together, as most of you know. We also have lunch together every day, unless one of us has a meeting or something. We'll eat in one of our offices, or if we're having one of those "I'mgonnakillthenextmotherfuckerthatwalksinhere" kind of days, we'll go out to lunch, just for the safety of our coworkers.

Sassy's blogged about our lunch hour before. You'd think that we wouldn't have too many crazy things happen, since we only go out maybe once a week, but au contraire, my friend. Here are happenings from THIS WEEK ALONE:

Tuesday: Had one of those days where we wanted to go sit on a patio and share taquitos and smoke cigs during lunch. Normal for us. Went to a decent Mexican restaurant, and sat down with some chips and hot sauce and gossip. I happen to see commotion over Sassy's shoulder, and stop whatever I'm saying mid-sentence. I say under my breath, barely moving my mouth, "Oh my God, look over there. Don't stare." (Sassypants is a notorious starer.) Behind her were four girls in their mid-twenties, posing provocatively with a plastic parrot (how's that for alliteration, English majors?). Like, one girl was bent over so her vajayjay was in the parrot's mouth, and one was behind it doing it doggystyle, one was laughing, and one was the photographer. They kept switching positions and giggling for about 4-5 minutes. Sassy and I had no words. We just stared at each other, wide-eyed until they finished their parrot threeway. I should mention it was about 11AM. I should also mention they all had beers in their hands, which probably contributed to the photo session. Now, I've probably been one to do drunken funny photo sessions with my friends, but NOT AT ELEVEN AM DURING LUNCH HOUR IN A RESTAURANT WITH PROFESSIONALS EVERYWHERE. Maybe I'm just old, but I don't need to see that shit when I'm eating.

Today: Sassy and I are leaving the area we work in (if you don't know, it's a pretty ghetto part of town, with one of the country's wealthiest oil and gas company's headquarters smack in the middle of it. Why my employer decided to set up shop in the midst of bike stealing and gunfire, I'll never know). We are sitting at a stop light and see a guy and his girlfriend walk across the street. The dude is holding his 7-inches-too-big pants up with one hand, and holding his old lady's hand with the other. A truck pulls up next to us, and for some reason 'Lil Scrappy decides to start talking shit to the driver. I couldn't see what the driver said or did, but as he turned his truck onto the next street, homey hit the side of the truck with his hands and raised his arms above his head, taunting the driver to bring it. The truck stopped, but there was traffic coming, so he had to end up going on down the road. I would have loved it if some big ass country dude with a cowboy hat jumped out and squashed that little gangbanger.

Also today: The restaurant we chose to go to is famous for their "Throw'd Rolls". Crystal, you definitely know this restaurant. It's a country restaurant, with awesome chicken fried steak, fried okra, fried anything, and taters. Really healthy, right? The rolls are to die for. There's a guy who walks around and throws you the rolls. Yes, you read that right... if you want a roll, you have to catch it. The best part is that the guy who throws the rolls is slightly on the... how do I put it nicely? He's slightly on the "slow" side. Like, his IQ is probably low 90's. Not the sharpest pencil in the box. I think you understand. So when he asks you if you want a hot roll, he looks at you quizzically and says, "Haaat rooooowwww?" You really have to be there, but it's all but impossible to not laugh. **For the record, I am not a hateful bitch and do not make fun of slow people. This guy is just on a level all by himself.** Anyway, he threw a roll from across the room to the guy at the table next to us, and smoked him in the side of the head. The guy was a bit stunned, the the roll thrower acted like this happens every day (which I'm sure it does) and just threw another one over.

Today, again: As Sassypants and I are having a smoke outside the restaurant, we see a guy on a scooter riding through the parking lot. Ok, fine. But he had a deputy's badge painted on his Rascal scooter, and made several laps around the parking lot. I think he may have been security. Or at least he had convinced himself that he was security. Who knows.

We actually stopped ourselves from laughing today to ask if the world has just gone insane, or does this shit happen to ANYONE ELSE?!?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Weekend Wrap Up

This is gonna be the most boring post EVER. Don't say I didn't warn you. Here's what my weekend entailed:

Friday - picked up MP from school and drove to my parents' house two hours away. Ate dinner, watched some TV with the 'rents, and went to bed by 8:30.

Saturday - woke up around 8:30, took my car to get the oil changed, swung by my grandma's to help her upload a picture to her Facebook (yeah, I know), then back home. Made homemade spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, watched some college football with my dad, and watched Flashdance until I was tired and went to bed.

Sunday - woke up around 8:00, watched the Parent Trap with MP. My friend called and I went out on the river with her and her fiance' that afternoon to go crabbing and fishing. We ended up getting about 28 crabs, with no net (guess what has two thumbs and was supposed to bring the nets?? This girl.) so that was pretty impressive. It was a fun time though... Had a few beers, and with the combination of that and the sun I was dog tired. Got home and took a shower, had some ribs and sausage my daddy grilled, watched some more college football, then went to bed. At 8:00.

Monday - woke up at 9:00, then MP and I met my grandma at this nature reserve in town. Walked a mile or so looking at plants and flowers (so not my thing, but my grandma enjoyed it, and I enjoy spending time with her). Went back to my parents, took a quick nap, then back on the road to Houston. Stopped by Sassypants' house to have dinner (she made some enchiladas that were the Got home around 8:00, put MP to bed, unloaded the car, and hit the sack by 9.

I'm pretty shocked I didn't go out and do ANYTHING the whole time I was there. I had three nights to go out, a free in-house babysitter, and Louisiana with it's 24 hour a day bars 5 minutes away. There really wasn't anyone in town that I wanted to hang out with except for the friend I went out on the river with, and she didn't want to go out, so I guess that's my excuse. Or I'm just getting old. Please, say it isn't so...

Now, I didn't do SHIT all weekend... why am I so tired today?