Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Dear little prankster at the cajun restaurant I lunched at:

I know you thought it would be HILARIOUS to not screw down the ketchup bottle after you used it. You probably also thought that the person sitting at the table after you would check the aforementioned bottle before shaking it. What you didn't anticipate was the level of starvation I was at. Being that hungry for the steaming french fries and crab cakes that was in front of me made me not even think to check to see if the cap was screwed on tightly. Well, little bastard, that's exactly what happened. As I shook the bottle from side to side, the cap flew off and hit the window as the red fluid shot all over me, the table, the window, and into my purse. You also made my newly pregnant friend laugh so hard that I was worried for her health. So, thank you, little pranking bastard. I now reek of tomato, have stains all over the front of my shirt, stickiness in my hair (that I had to pull in a ponytail when I was actually having a decent hair day), and I'm scared to reach into my purse, because I keep finding cold wet puddles of gooey tomato paste in it. It's also way fun when someone walks in your office and asks what's on your pants, when you thought you got all the spots taken care of.

I'm going to be cleaning up this mess for days. FML.

9 comments:

Amber D. said...

Yes, Courtney, Crystal, and Samsmama, before there are any comments... I DO realize that I said "stickiness in my hair". I would totally be ok if it was the kind of stickiness you perverts are thinking about. It's been THAT long.

Spot said...

Oh my...lol. I'm sorry, but the visual is just too good not to laugh!! Now that I'm done laughing, I would like to offer my total sympathy because I'm sure this little incident totally b*tt-f*cked your day. But in 5 years or so, you'll totally be like hey sassypants remember that day I shook the ketchup bottle and it exploded all over me? And you'll both laugh so hard you pee. Promise.

♥Spot

calicobebop said...

I am so sorry - but I about peed my pants when I read this. Totally sounds like something that would happen to me! Hope everything comes out ok!

Samsmama said...

Dammit! Well, you stole my comment.

Seriously, that sucks. I worked in different restaurants and bars for many years and there's a long list of "little pranksters" I'd like to kill.

KatieDavis said...

fn hilarious....love these stories!

AtYourCervix said...

Please be careful of salt and pepper shakers too. I have a teenager who is notorious for loosening them in restaurants.

Sigh........

Candice said...

Karma is a bitch. That little fucker probably has raging diarrhea right now.

Whiskey Girl said...

You have no idea how hard I laughed when I saw "stickiness in my hair" the first time... your comment took the words right out of my mouth. LMFAO

Candice - your comment cracked me the fuck up.

Sassy Pants said...

Spot - I pretty much pee every time I laugh, so you're spot on with that comment. Get it, spot on? Hehehe! I kill me.

Word verification - Boort. The noise my ass has been making lately.