Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Lessons learned from Memorial Weekend...

The list is long, but I'm still too tired to really think right now... so here's what I can come up with for now:

1. Don't get close to a BBQ pit and stoke it while drinking. You will end up with 2nd degree burns all over your body, and worse of all, on your nipples.
2. Don't bring an underage person to the river, she will annoy everyone. And you might catch her in the bathroom with her hand down some dude's pants that isn't her date.
3. Even people who are shy and don't talk at all will show their boobs when prompted.
4. As organized as you think you are, you still will not collect money
from moochers. And when they say thanks for a good time you'll say "Sure, glad you got a free ride" and he'll think YOU'RE the bitch.
5. It IS possible for one girl to bang 6 dudes in a 48 hour period.
6. Me and Sassypants still rock at flip cup, even when
7. If someone is nice enough to make you a sandwich, you don't throw it in the yard angrily, and narrowly avoid BF's face.
8. Even the biggest beer snobs will resort to drinking Natural Light or Lone Star when that's all you got.
9. If you come with a date, then go to a bar and bring another girl home, don't expect there to not be tension when your date finds you in bed with the random stranger.
10. When you have a set number that can stay in the house you rented, that number will increase by 15 once everyone starts inviting stragglers.
11. Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" WILL make everyone stop what they're doing and come on the porch for a mass sing along. Twice in a row.

That's all for now. I'll give you the complete rundown of the four days at the river once I recover in a month or so.


calicobebop said...

HOLY COW! Sounds like you guys had a blast! Love the list - keep 'em coming!

BTW, if I found my "date" in the sack with a stranger I'd castrate him. Seriously.


Anonymous said...

I'm so jealous of your weekend. I would have never been able to remember all that while drinking... Ok, who am I kidding, I would have never been able to remember all that when I'm not drinking.

Sassy Pants said...

You forgot one: when on the road behind a motorcycle, always leave at least two car lengths between you so you don't runover the chic when she falls off the back.

Samsmama said...

6 guys in 48 hours? You must be worn out.

Amber D. said...

Calico - since they weren't technically a couple, she didn't want to make a scene, but I sure would.

Courtney - most of this list came to me from other people telling me what transpired, not from my own memory.

Sassy - I knew you'd help me out with some more list fodder!!

Samsmama - yeah, that totally wasn't me, my limit for guys in two days is 3. Totally kidding. The chick was married, and left her husband at home for the weekend to watch their daughter. Classy bitch she is.