Thursday, April 16, 2009

I'm still alive...

... but I am an awful blogger. I read everyone else's daily, but I have nothing new in my life to talk about. It's been two weeks since I last posted, and I have come to the realization that I'm just boring! So, in order to have something to post (and to prove I may have at one time been interesting), I'm totally jacking Samsmama's idea and posting a list of ten random things from my past that I've done...with one thing listed that I didn't do. See if you can figure out which one it is!

(oh, and Sassypants, you can't comment until they figure it out, because it's just not fair... you've known me for 24 years).

1. I was an egg donor after MP was born... I only planned on doing it once, but ended up doing it 7 times because my baby makers were apparently a hot commodity.

2. I got busted driving drunk (yes, I know, no lectures please) when I was 19 (again, underage, I know) and my parents had to come pick me up on the side of the road. 3 miles from my house. On a Tuesday. At 3am. The cop was nice enough not to haul me to jail, though.

3. I had scholarship offers to dance in college (not strippering, dance teaming) but stayed in my hometown for a boy. We broke up 5 months later.

4. I've been on the bar at every Coyote Ugly bar I've been to. And Hogs and Heifers.

4. I have never, ever, flashed my boobies... even before I had a kiddo and they were more, um, perky.

5. I had to ride a Greyhound bus from San Antonio to my hometown twice because I totaled my car and had no other way. It was one of the most awful experiences ever, and I cried getting on it every time.

6. I've smuggled prescription drugs and steroids into the US from Mexico.

7. My first kiss was under my parents' trailer, and he tasted like bubblegum. He also tried to put his hand up my shirt and I freaked out. We were 5.

8. My friend once spilled red nail polish on her white comforter when I spent the night at her house in elementary school, and when her mom saw what happened, my friend blamed it on me and I got in trouble. I still carry that grudge. :)

9. I've been to jail three times.

10. I spent every sunny day (and some rainy ones) during the summer in the late 80's/early 90's jumping on my trampoline and listening to tapes of New Kids on the Block, Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson, and MC Hammer... from the time I woke up until the sun went down. I LOVED IT.


calicobebop said...

Girl, you have got to spill the jail stories sometime. :) Also - way to go for being an egg donor! I know you made some pretty babies.

Samsmama said...

GREAT list!

I'm going to go with #7. I have no clue why, but that's my pick. I totally think the smuggling drugs thing is true.

#8? A babysitter knocked over a cup of red Koolaid on my yellow bedroom carpet and blamed me. I'm still pissed, and often bring it up, 30 years later.

You realize you can't post this and then just go away, right?

Amber D. said...

Calicobebop - yes, TM says I make eggs like gumballs, so I don't know if that's a good thing or not...

Samsmama - LOL. Well, you're right about the smuggling, but wrong about the 5-year-old makeout session. Both happened!

BTW, I promise I won't go away (I still stalk your blog daily, anyway...) I just need more blog-worthy shit to happen to me! Or maybe that's a sign that life is sailing along smoothly, and I don't need to pray for rough waters? Whaddya think?

Samsmama said...

Ok, #4??

Well, so far, you need to blog about your prison time :) and your days as a drug mule. That's some pretty good stuff ya got there.

Also, if I don't get knocked up soon, I may need to borrow some eggs. You're hot, and throw in my hubby's DNA and we've got us a cute kid.

Amber D. said...

When you put it like that, it sounds like I was a Columbian drug lord! I only smuggled Valium, Xanax, and horse steroids (!) for a boyfriend. Yeah, I was a dumbass.

And Sassypants has dibs on some eggs, but I'm sure she won't mind sharing... Let's just pray that my kid doesn't meet one of the recipients of my eggs one day and fall in love... I didn't realize at the time, but I'm going to have to interview MP's dates and parents from now on to make sure she doesn't date her brother! *GAG*

Sassy Pants said...

For the 700th time, I'm sorry for blaming you for spilling the nail polish. We were 5, and I've confessed the truth to my mom in front of you.

tonya said...

the last comment by tm had me cracking up, mainly b/c i also have a besty that should have been my sister known her since we were 3 and we are 32 now, so i still get shit for lighting paper on fire in the ashtray when she sent me back in the house for more ciggarette butts for us to smoke, yeah , of course i got busted by her dad and she got in really bad trouble for "letting" me do it, i was always getting us busted, but she still loves me, lol.and yes she still reminds me allllllll the time

Candice said...

I want to hear the pokey stories!

I've got one of my own.

Musings of the Mrs. said...

My guess is egg donor. And if I am correct, then we have otherwise had pretty much the same life. Poor us! (and also, god we are fun!)

Cary said...

My guess is #4. Everybody's gotten drunk and flashed at least once.

Amber D. said...

Nope, Cary! Never!